"To keep those pesky South Polers at bay,
We need to bring joy in October and May."
‘Twas some time after Christmas and all through the shop,
Not a creature was stirring, you could hear a pin drop.
It happened in January. Some say on the twelfth.
When Santa knocked each elf from its shelf.
His message was jarring as it escaped from his beard:
"Christmas can no longer come just once a year.”
For the first time in history, the North had a competitor.
A new company had surfaced who they saw as a predator.
South Pole, they called it, a tech-driven startup
Whose agile approach was causing a shake-up.
"They stole all our processes and made them much faster.
I’ve looked at our numbers. They’re a total disaster."
The world’s oldest business was being disrupted.
Their workflows, their goals, must now be adjusted.
So right then and there, they got back to work.
And for months, hear no lie, it was beyond berserk.
They’d work long days and nights with bandaged-up hands,
In hopes they’d somehow supply the demand.
The Elves were afraid. Being replaced by AI.
Every night, with pressed hands, they’d look to the sky.
“Sweet bringer of Christmas, of joy, and of treats…
What will we do? Will my children still eat?
What went through their heads when they offered free shipping?
They’d stash flasks of eggnog for chugging not sipping.
Corners were cut. Efficiencies dipped.
QA, for example, was continually skipped.
The magic was dwindling, morale never lower.
After each gift went out, they’d somehow get slower.
Even Santa had never worked so hard in his life.
So much so, in fact, he neglected his wife.
And think not of the elves but of the good girls and boys.
Who woke up each morning and played with new toys.
Their joy and excitement could not have been better.
Without writing their wishes in some sort of letter.
But this feeling of joy, it just did not last.
The magic of Christmas was a thing of the past.
Who knew with each bobble and shiny new present,
That unwrapping gifts would not be so pleasant?
You see, the season's true meaning can’t be found in a chart.
What makes it so special is what comes from the heart.
After a year of this format they were stuck in a rut.
And Santa, full of regret, now followed his gut.
"You know what? Let’s pivot. Reaffirm our ambitions.
What's made us successful? The gosh darn traditions."
Agile’s great for software. It’s quite good for business.
But at the end of the day, it does nothing for Christmas.
So take it from Santa. Learn from all his mistakes.
Savour the moments, the laughter, snowflakes.
Slow down this season, save worry for next year.
And know that these words are the most sincere.
Merry Christmas to you,
your family, your friends,
From us at Jan Kelley.
Happy Holidays. The end.